The Importance of Gratitude in Our Lives
22 November 2022
Excerpt from the Book: Finding Peace in Difficult Times, by Dr. Ted P. Asay and Dr. Mark D. Ogletree, 158-162.
I am aware of a father who shared the following experience. He was quite athletic, and during his adolescence and early adulthood, he often thought how exciting it would be to one day marry and have children. Because of his background in sports, he fantasized of perhaps having five or six sons that he would coach in little league baseball, basketball, and pop warner football. He even thought of how exciting it would be, as his boys became adults, to play on the same softball team together. He also dreamed of other outdoor recreation with his future children, such as hunting, fishing, and skiing.
This man ultimately married and, along with his wife, started their family. Their first baby was a girl—something he never even considered. In fact, as each baby came, each one was a girl! Over a period of several years, this man became the proud father of five daughters. Please do not misunderstand—this man loved his daughters. In fact, he learned that he could play sports with several of them. Two of them ultimately became college athletes. Even though he was happy and fulfilled, he still longed to have a son, but it never happened. Finally, he and his wife gave up on that idea, and focused on raising their beautiful, wonderful daughters.
As his girls became teenagers, this father visited a doctor for a routine physical exam. Because of a problem that was detected, he was referred to a urologist for further testing. After a complete exam, the doctor detected a significant issue with the man’s reproductive system. The urologist said to the man, “Do you have any children?” The man replied, “Yes, we have five beautiful daughters.” The doctor exclaimed, “That’s impossible. Men with your condition usually are infertile.” As the man left the doctor’s office that day, his heart swelled with gratitude. No longer would he whine or complain that he did not have enough sons to field a softball team. He was simply grateful that he and his wife were able to conceive a child, let alone, multiple children. After that day in the doctor’s office, this man’s prayers were often filled with gratitude for his five daughters.
Gratitude is a powerful Christlike attribute that seems to have a similar significance and potency as Christlike attributes, such as faith, hope, charity, and meekness. Roman orator Cicero taught that gratitude was “not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Melody Beatty, the author of almost 20 self-help books, including Codependent No More, once explained, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend….Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates vision for tomorrow.”
According the Latter-day Saint Gospel Topics library, “Gratitude is a feeling of appreciation and thankfulness for blessings or benefits we have received. As we cultivate a grateful attitude, we are more likely to be happy and spiritually strong… Gratitude is an uplifting, exalting attitude. People are generally happier when they have gratitude in their hearts. We cannot be bitter, resentful, or mean-spirited when we are grateful.” The expression of gratitude has the ability to help us enjoy life, to be content, and to have a healthy perspective of both good and bad experiences. Moreover, gratitude connects us on a deeper level with our Father in Heaven, and helps us recognize His hand in our lives.
Too many of us do not think of gratitude or practice it enough. Although many individuals and families consider being grateful around Thanksgiving each year, that is not enough time to consider our enormous blessings and to live in a constant spirit of thankfulness. One research study reported that those who are religious express gratitude more than those who are non-religious. In fact, 75 percent of the religious respondents in the study agreed with the statement, “I have so much in life to be thankful for,” compared to 39 percent of the non-religious. Not surprising, this study also reported that the younger people are, the less likely they are to express gratitude. In the same study, only 35 percent of 18-24 year old’s reported that they expressed gratitude often, compared with 57 percent of those 65 or older. Overall, only 52 percent of women and 44 percent of men express gratitude on a regular basis.
Consider President Russell M. Nelson, our Prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In a message called, “The Healing Power of Gratitude,” he recounted the death of his wife Dantzel, and the loss of two of his daughters to cancer. He then stated,
No parent is prepared to lose a child. And yet, despite these and other difficult experiences, I am incredibly, eternally grateful for so very many things. I am grateful to God for the nearly 60 years Dantzel and I shared together, for a lifetime of love and joy and cherished memories. And I thank Him for my wife, Wendy, who I met after Dantzel’s passing. She now fills my life with joy. I am grateful to God for the years I had with my two departed daughters. This father’s heart melts when I see attributes of those girls in the precious faces of their children and grandchildren.
I admire President Russell M. Nelson and his counsel on gratitude. Instead of focusing on losing his wife and two of his daughters to death, he has chosen to focus on the wonderful, incredible times that they actually had together. He treasures his memories with Dantzel, Emily, and Wendy. Think of the joy that such a concept can bring into all of our lives!
Nevertheless, some individuals choose, instead, to focus on all of their problems: losses, reverses, tragedy, heartbreak, bankruptcy, cancer, war, terror, elections, and the economy. However, a hyper-focus on these things will not do us much good—most of these things are completely out of our control anyway. What we do have control over is how we choose to think about our circumstances. Why not focus on the good in the world—our blessings, our families, our testimonies, living prophets, the Atonement, the plan of Salvation. Consider that most of us woke up this morning and took a hot shower, followed by a nice breakfast. Many of us then drove a decent car to work. Today, most of us will not have to swim across shark-infested waters to get home, we will most likely engage in some form of entertainment, eat some good food, and fall asleep in a warm bed. Not everyone in the world will enjoy such privileges that so many of us take for granted. We have so many bounteous blessings. If you do not believe that, visit a third-world country for a day and you will most likely change your mind.