Episode 05: The How’s of Work
Many of Our Teens Are Not Working:
Consider this:
In the 1970s, only 22% of high school seniors did not work for pay at all during the school year, but by the 2010s, 44% did not work.
Fewer teens have summer jobs. In 1980, 70% had a summer job. That number sunk to 43% in the 2010s.
In case you are thinking, “That’s because there’s not enough jobs,” you are wrong. The number of teens who do not want a job has doubled. And that is the problem.
Every place in town has a sign up that says, “Help wanted.”
Since 2000, the percent of teens working jobs has fallen from 43 percent to 27.5 percent
The share of teens participating in the labor force peaked 40 years ago and has declined ever since. In 1979, nearly 60% of American teenagers were employed, an all-time high.
Today, just over one-third, or 35%, of teens between the ages of 16 and 19 are part of the workforce” (Jessica Dickler, “Why So Few Teenagers Have Jobs Anymore,” CNBC, 6 October 2019).
For those of you thinking, “Well, that’s because more teenagers are involved in extracurricular activities,” that’s also wrong.
“Time spent on student clubs and on sports/exercise has changed little over time” (Jean M. Twenge, Igen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood, [New York: Atria Books, 2017], 31).
And for those who think, “Well, that’s because they are doing more homework than previous generations,” that’s wrong too.
iGen 8th, 10th, and 12th graders actually spent less time on homework than previous generations.
“iGen teens are spending less time on homework, paid work, volunteering, and extracurriculars combined, not more” (Jean M. Twenge, Igen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood, [New York: Atria Books, 2017], 32).
Let’s introduce Ellie, a 16 year-old high school junior.
“I ask her if she has a job, and she says no; she also doesn’t get an allowance.
‘So do your parents buy you the things that you want—is that how it works?’ I ask.
‘Yeah,’ she says. ‘Like usually if I need money they will, like, give it to me or something. Usually I just ask them…’” (Jean M. Twenge, Igen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood, [New York: Atria Books, 2017], 34).
So Today, the new phrase among our teens is, “Just Venmo me.”
Elder Neal A. Maxwell stated: “Those who do too much for their children will soon find they can do nothing with their children. So many children have been so much done for they are almost done in” (Elder Neal A. Maxwell, Ensign, May 1975, 102).
The Benefits of Children Working:
There are great benefits that come from teaching our children to work!
Work provides a means for our children to learn self-discipline and be responsible
Talents and skills can be developed that we can use throughout our lives
Work and productivity helps our teenagers become happier and have a high degree of self-worth
Teens can learn to become independent and self-reliant
Work is one of the best ways to help children develop self-worth, competence, and personal satisfaction
Work helps teens become less egocentric and more prone to help and serve others—self denial
Work at home helps enhance family unity, loyalty, and friendship
Work can be fun and exhilarating
Working can allow us to obtain earthy prizes
Hard work puts them in a position to gain a testimony and get converted to the gospel. It is hard for lazy people to get converted—conversion takes work
How to Teach Children to Work:
Be the Example
Teens need to see their mothers and fathers and other significant adults in their lives as hard workers.
When teens grow up watching their parent’s work, they are more likely to emulate a “work” mentality.
Especially if they have a positive relationship with their parents.
However, a lazy parent who lies on the couch and barks out orders is a poor example, and their teens will be the first to see the hypocrisy.
Do they know your “work” stories
2. Work with your Children
Children cannot be expected to work alone.
Sending a young child to clean their room without adult involvement is often counter-productive.
Teens need to work with their parents. In this way, mothers and fathers can model how the job is to be completed.
Moreover, great teaching opportunities and discussions can transpire as children and their parents work together.
3. Expect children to work at an early age
In some families, children begin working as soon as they can walk.
Teens can wash their own clothing, mow the lawn, care for pets, mop, sweep, vacuum, clean bathrooms, dust, and engage in other household chores.
Parents do not have to live on a farm to find work to do for their children
Cardinal Rule of Parenting: Never do anything for your children that they can do themselves
Some parents won’t let their kids in the kitchen because they don’t want them to mess it up
Some dads don’t let their kids touch their tools, and don’t want them anywhere near when they are doing projects because they may mess something up
4. Make work fun
One of the tragedies of our culture is most people equate work with drudgery.
However, work can be fun and exciting.
Find creative ways to make working fun, even if it means dancing like a crazy fool while you work, or throwing a ball, or telling jokes or stories, or getting treats after the work is completed.
During the work, listen to music, talk, make it fun
Afterwards, get treats……
In our family, a typical Saturday morning was working with our children, and then going to get treats at a local store afterward
5. Help your child succeed
Make sure the chores and work you assign are age-appropriate.
You wouldn’t want to hand your four-year-old son a chain saw and instruct him go out into the woods and bring back a Christmas tree.
You can do this by giving them work assignments that are relatively easy at first.
Help them gain confidence by giving them positive feedback, praise, and thanks for the job they completed.
Since rewarded behavior continues, your child will most likely want to work again if they have positive experiences.
Bonus: Create a Need!
Many of our modern youth have absolutely no desire to work—they don’t need to! They have cars, smart phones, IPads, clothes, and money to travel. Who would want to work under those circumstances?
Parents need to learn to create needs.
Discover what your child’s desires are and have them work to gain the needed commodities.
Have them work to help pay for baseball camp, or for an IPhone, or to attend EFY, or even clothing that they want. Teach them that the rewards go to those who work the hardest!
Finally: Hard is Good!
“Hard makes us stronger, humbles us, and gives us a chance to prove ourselves”
“The hard things in our lives should come as no surprise. One of the earliest covenants we make with the Lord is to live the law of sacrifice”
“Hard is part of the gospel plan. One of the purposes of this life is for us to be proven”
“In the world of nature, hard is part of the circle of life. It is hard for a baby chick to hatch out of that tough eggshell. But when someone tries to make it easier, the chick does not develop the strength necessary to live” (Elder Stanley G. Ellis, “Do We Trust Him? Hard is Good,” Ensign, November 2017).
“Before this calling I was a financial consultant in Houston, Texas. Most of my work was with multimillionaires who owned their own businesses.
“Almost all of them had created their successful businesses from nothing through lots of hard work.
“The saddest thing for me was to hear some of them say that they wanted to make it easier for their children.
“They did not want their children to suffer as they had. In other words, they would deprive their children of the very thing that had made them successful” (Elder Stanley G. Ellis, “Do We Trust Him? Hard is Good,” Ensign, November 2017).
Parents; it takes a lot of work to teach your kids to work—parents must put in effort—we don’t live on farms; we must get creative on how to teach them to work;
But in the end, teaching your children to work is a major, worthwhile investment!